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Blending feline families

Posted Sun, Mar 09, 2008, 10:00 pm PDT

It's difficult to merge households when people remarry and there are children involved. It can also be difficult when the blended family involves his cats and her cats.

Plan the introduction. Don't rush. It can be easy to overlook the need to gradually introduce cats to each other during the chaos of a wedding and moving into a home.

Remember that the kitties have no advance warning about what is happening and their entire world is suddenly turned upside down. The resident cats view this as an intrusion into their home, and the new kitties feel as if they've dropped into hostile territory.

Tips for blending feline families smoothly:

  • Set up a sanctuary room for the incoming cats. This allows them to get their bearings in the unfamiliar environment. This also gives the resident cats comfort because only a portion of their territory is violated.
  • Allow the newcomers to explore beyond the sanctuary room. Place the resident cats in another room so the newcomers can safely investigate. This also allows them to distribute their scent around the environment.
  • Do a gradual introduction, giving the cats a reason to like each other. Use treats, food, and toys as you introduce the newcomers to the residents. Conduct short sessions where they see each other for a few seconds while being offered a treat or a meal. In subsequent sessions, gradually increase exposure time.
  • Create a cat-friendly environment. Make sure there are plenty of litter boxes and feeding stations for everyone. The residents and newcomers may not want to share. Additionally, set up an extra cat tree or window perches to increase vertical territory. Use Comfort Zone in the environment to help all the cats feel more comfortable.

For more specifics, order my new book, Starting From Scratch.

Showing 20 of 20 Comments

  • 1. don - 4:55AM on 03/10/08

    In my experience, it usually takes about a week for new cats/kitties to get comfortable with each other. Every one I've ever had eventually warmed up to each other. My cats and kittens are always nuetered and spayed so they are probably less aggressive than most

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  • 2. Sharon L - 6:02AM on 03/10/08

    My 8 year old male cat would mess outside his litter box once in awhile beginning back in Dec. of 2006. And the times that he would do it, the box would need cleaning (1 or 2 piles in it) Now it's almost every day-I have a surprise every morning when I come home from work. It's either right in front of his litter box or on the living room carpet. I do have a dog that has been with us for 2 1/2 years and a boyfriend that moved in back in Sept. If the cat doesn't like the dog or the boyfriend, it's kind of late for him to be reacting to it. Any ideas as to why this is happening??????

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  • 3. don - 8:02AM on 03/10/08

    hmm not sure Sharon. The only times my cats have gone outside the box is if I slacked off on cleaning it. Maybe give it a good cleaning or replace the box with a new one. Did the cat ever consistantly go in the box when he was younger? Have you switched litter from when he was younger? My cat's have never been picky, but I've read that certain litter my irratate a cats paws by getting stuck. My try a cheepo unscented real fine litter. I'm no expert, so take it for what its worth. I know it can be frustrating putting up issues like that so hang in there.

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  • 4. jovita33@verizon.net - 4:49AM on 03/11/08

    i do not have a comment but a question. will a brother and sister cat mate i do have a bro and sis pair they will be a year in august.

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  • 5. Cat - 8:40AM on 03/11/08

    I found this article is helpful to me because my boyfriend and I are interesting in having our two cats meet. Both cats are somewhat familiar with the other's scent (it's on our clothes b/c our cats are friendly with the other's human) but I suspect the situation could get hairy (furry?). Thanks for the tips!

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  • 6. displsd - 10:21AM on 03/11/08

    To Jovita33 Please get your cats spayed and neutered ASAP. Yes they will mate, unless you want inbred kittens. There are enough cats/kittens to go around as it is. Please leave the breeding up to the professionals.

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  • 7. Kitten1568 - 10:23AM on 03/11/08

    jovita, yes brother and sister cats will mate. They do not recognize bloodlines or kinship. You really should have your cats spayed and neutered anyway, regardless of whether or not they are related, but I suggest getting these two fixed as soon as possible. I'm surprised they have not mated yet. 1 year old is well into their reproductive years already. Most cats have the ability to have kittens by the time they are 6-8 months old.

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  • 8. Andrea G - 11:25AM on 03/11/08

    Jovita, my brother/sister pair was 8 months old when I took them to be 'fixed'. The Vet discovered halfway throught the procedure that Cleo was already pregnant and aborted two tiny kittens. It was very traumatic, to say the least. Please spare yourself (and your cats) that ordeal by getting at least your male fixed. Good luck!

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  • 9. warmclimatetraveler - 1:21PM on 03/11/08

    I have a problem. My two cats (male & female) are both spayed/neutered and have been living together in harmony for a year. After the female came home from one of her grooming appointments three months ago, they began fighting and the female was badly injured. For the past three months we have been keeping them in seperate rooms, letting them out on a rotating basis to eat. drink and use the kitty litter. This has been a pain! Tomorrow I'm having a new dog kennel delivered, (there are no cat kennels) hoping that if I put one in there on a rotating basis, (again) the other will be able to 'smell' slowly and get re-introduced. Does anyone think this will work?

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  • 10. cavalialver@att.net - 1:51PM on 03/11/08

    We have a very very spoiled cat.she is 8 or 9 ( were not sure,she was a rescue) We want to get a puppy but I am afraid she get most upset with us. What can we do to make her feel she is so loved and wanted? She has been the Queen for 7 yrs.

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  • 11. Karen C - 3:07PM on 03/11/08

    My, what we go through for our beloved kitties. Our 9 yo female Callie was a yo when we rescued her and brought her to live with our senior greyhound. They loved each other and then the greyhound died and soon after we brought home a rescue male tabby, Alf. We did everything we had ever heard of to soften the introduction of a new cat, separate rooms, gradual introduction, separate litter boxes, etc. Callie tolerated him but started to go outside the litter box occasionally. We tried everything we could think of to deter her and sometimes it seemed like she had stopped then we had an "unexpected" rescue of a male Ragdoll named Snowy. He was just a 2 mo kitten when we got him and we took 6 mos to introduce him completely and to leave all of the kitties loose in the house at the same time. All of the kitties are neutered, front de-clawed and we have 4 littler boxes in our home in various places. The 2 boys have bonded but Callie hates them both. Now she seems to go wherever she feels like. The boys have tired of her hissing and spitting at them and delight in stalking and jumping on her whenever they get a chance. They never hurt her though. We try to keep her food in her favorite bedroom where all of her favorite things are and we try to keep a litter box just for her but if the boys who are masters at opening doors find out she has a clean box they can't run fast enough to go in it. I have read and tried to follow all of the tips I have read about, we have all of the cleaning products, pheronome spray, felliway, etc. It sounds funny but it seems like a war zone sometimes and we are torn, we love all of them and want them to all love on another. Here's hoping.......

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  • 12. stlsarahv - 9:00AM on 03/12/08

    cats are like people, and cat families are like people families, you cant pick and choose your relatives. imagine having to hang around a relative that makes you uneasy 24/7, ahhhhhhggg. so it sounds like Karen C has "in-law" issues... as far as the breeding goes, i would just adopt, unless they are prepared to keep the entire litter, because there are so many homeless lovelies.

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  • 13. Cathy B - 10:35AM on 03/12/08

    I believe that one would need to consider the psychological impact upon a senior, pampered cat who had become accustomed to a solitary life of importance. My cat, Mr. Jazz is my reason for being and becoming. I would never consider jeopardizing his sanity by forcing him to cohabit with other felines who lacked similar devotion. My awareness is that cats are intuitive, reflect and react to the emotions and intelligence of humans.

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  • 14. don - 11:12AM on 03/12/08

    My girlfriend had an only cat for about 5 years a male. She found a stray aprox. 4 month old female stray in the neighborhood and took her in. Mitchie (the boy) only took about a day to accept Punky (the girl). Now the lay around and groom each other and chase each other around the house playing (usually when we are in bed trying to sleep. They are best buds now (almost all the time)

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  • 15. petratheartist - 1:31PM on 03/12/08

    It took a full year before our male cat was fully accepted by our two females. Before that, it was pretty nasty and I wasn't sure it would work out. Soon, our male found his place in the pack....at the bottom. He figured out he can't boss the other two around and they were finally able to bash this into his dense head. He's great though and loves his girls a ton....and they have also learned to love him too. It just took patience (a lot of it!!!) and a squirt bottle for those tense moments.

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  • 16. Tyger - 3:03PM on 03/19/08

    For Sharon L, Make sure your cat does not have a bladder infection or such from the vet. He may have an attitude. Try cleaning the box before you leave for work, and see if he does it when you are home too. Maybe he is lonely, and is mad at you for leaving him. My little lady (cat) has gotten more snuggly in her old age. Or try a different litter. Some cheap litters are just that. Scoopable is good and easier to clean up. I would ask your vet for any other ideas. Good Luck.

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  • 17. techwolfgirl - 7:55AM on 03/21/08

    I need help with a problem. We have a 3 yr old female cat, Bobbers, who has had the house to herself, except for sharing with the dog she doesn't mind. We have taken on my step daughters cat Oliver, who is a male. We have started by putting Bobbers in her room and letting Oliver out so he could get his time to look around the house, he gets along with the dog great. Then we would put Oliver up, then let Bobbers out so she could get his scent. We have done this several times the las couple days, and have started to introduce each other. Oliver will sit there and just watch Bobbers, but Bobbers will hiss and growl if anyone comes near her. When we tried to put Bobbers and Oliver up for the night in seperate rooms, Bobbers turned around and bit my husband on the hand because she wasn't ready to leave. Does anyone have an idea to make this relationship to work out for the two cats? Oliver is sweet and loving, and a little scared from being in a new house, we would like to see this work for all of us.

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  • 18. lighthouse9150 - 3:49PM on 03/26/08

    Do male and female cats have problems living together?? I have a female and 2 males. The female had been living with 2 females and they treated her terrible...she gets along with the 2 males.

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  • 19. lca - 9:51AM on 03/30/08

    I have 2 cats. Mr Kitty came to live with me first as an adult. He's somewhere around 8-10 years old, declawed, 22 lbs, neutered, and very friendly. Tulip came to live with me as an abandoned kitten about a year later. I have had her spayed, but not declawed. For the first year and a half or so, they were very friendly, sleeping together, grooming each other, sharing my lap simultaneously, and getting along very well. Tulip is an indoor/outdoor cat, but Mr Kitty is primarily indoors, although I do let him out when I'm in the yard because he loves being in the lawn and taking in the fresh air. Tulip is afraid of people except me and a couple of regular visitors and neighbors, but not hostile - she just hides. Gradually she has become very hostile towards Mr Kitty, hissing at him as a matter of course practically anytime they cross paths too closely. If she is on my bed first, she will attack him when he tries to get on the bed. She never really hurts him, but is just very mean. She also regularly tangles with other neighborhood cats who come into her yard. Any idea why this hostility would develop between two previously inseperable cats or ways to stop it?

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  • 20. Karen C - 12:23PM on 04/10/08

    Update on my problem kitties. When we took the kitties in for their yearly vet stuff we asked the vet if he had any suggestions regarding the peeing and fighting. He put our female on birth control (depo provera)!!! She is neutered as are the males but it seems that they can still have a small amount of hormones, I was very skeptical but our vet if great, it took a couple of weeks but we have noticed a definite improvement in her cattitude and no inappropriate peeing lately. Here's hoping!

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